Archive for May, 2014|Monthly archive page

Writers, what would you grab first in case of fire? Your answer will reveal a lot about you.

In Loose Change on May 27, 2014 at 4:39 pm

Maike Wetzel of Germany, the Goethe-Institut inaugural writer-in-residence on a cultural exchange in Wellington, New Zealand, has lost chapters from her new novel after thieves stole her laptop from her inner-city cottage.



Writers of all stripes: Excluding loved ones, of course, what would you grab first in case of fire? Your answer will reveal a lot about you.

If you said, “the fire extinguisher,” you are a technical writer.

If you said, “the Policy,” you are an underwriter.

If you said, “the Webster’s,” you are a proofreader.

If you said, “the Writer’s Digest Guide to (whatever),” you are definitely unpublished.

If you said, “my mint-con collectables,” you are an unpublished “speculative fiction” writer.

If you said, “my tender childhood things,” you are in your twenties and in an MFA program.

If you said, “my skateboard,” or, “the keys to my parents’ car,” you are a professional blogger for Huff-Po.

If you said the cat, you are single.

If you said the dog but your spouse said the cat, you will soon be single.

If you said your laptop, you were born before the original Apple Macintosh.

If you said your phone/pad/glass, you were born after Microsoft Windows 1.0.

If you said the emails or the internets, you were born before the Cuban Missile Crisis.

If you said the Royal, the Remington Rand or the Olivetti, you are either a literature professor with tenure and a sclerotic liver, or a hipster with a student loan and a nose stud.

If you said, “The original story was about a theft, not a fire,” you are an editor.




Follow this idiot.